Why such a weird warranty statement?

Any company that says they will "gladly" refund your money probably isn't being very truthful. And if they're not being truthful about that, who knows what else they're feeding you!

Charlie's Soap is all about truth in advertising. When we say it cleans everything from false teeth to Diesel engines, it has to. But if it doesn't work for you for whatever, reason, we will refund your purchase price, even if we're not all that happy about it.